Jealousy and Mistrust - The Personality of the Housewife in the Ignorant Society 4

Jealousy exercises an important influence in an ignorant society, where it is not regarded as a negative trait. Such a society tries to present jealousy as a mark of love and devotion. If an individual is not jealous of the one he loves, he thinks it is not real love. According to this erroneous way of thinking, in order for an individual to be sure that his partner loves him, the partner must love him exclusively.

But this idea is completely wrong. Because, ultimately, love is a profound feeling and a superior moral trait. For an individual to be jealous in a loving relationship is contrary to the teaching of the Qur’an. A person shows his love to the one he loves through his faithfulness, devotion and tenderness, and by speaking and acting appropriately towards the object of his affection. This creates the idea in the mind of the other person that he or she is really loved. It is very selfish for an individual to want to be loved exclusively.

In societies of ignorance, jealousy, especially in married life, causes much anxiety. A woman of such a tendency, who hears of the love her husband has for his mother, father, sisters, friends and even his children, may become a cause of misery for her. Such women do not want their husbands to love anyone else more than, or even as much, as he loves them.

A second type of jealousy that such housewives experience comes from the fact that they are aware of the corrupted perception of marriage in ignorant society. There is no genuine love or faithfulness in any union that is not based on the love and fear of Allah, and on seeking His pleasure. It is because ignorant women are aware of this that they expect being deceived at any moment, and live in fear of being neglected. For this reason, they regard everything that happens with suspicion, becoming overwhelmed with tense feelings and jealousy.

Instead of improving the situation, their behavior makes things worse, and often makes even the problem itself worse. They try to send their partner a message with their erratic behavior, contrariety and irascibility. They tend to derive complicated insinuations from the most trivial circumstances, and then form definite conclusions on the basis of the scenarios they imagine. But, this behavior only makes their lives more miserable. Moreover, contrary to the desired results, they succeed only in driving their partner farther away from them. Because living with a person without knowing when the next outburst will occur, and what kind of false conclusion she will jump to, makes for a very unhappy co-existence. For this reason, the obsessive jealousy of housewives in the ignorant societies usually ends with the breakup of the marriage.

However, the solution is very simple. In the Qur’an Allah informs us that everyone has feelings of jealousy, but these feelings have to be eliminated:

… people are prone to selfish greed. If you do good and fear Allah, Allah is aware of what you do. (Surat an-Nisa’, 128)

For this reason, a believer, who dutifully practices the moral teachings of the Qur’an, does not harbor jealousy. The mutual faithfulness and trust that comes from the fear of Allah prevents any such tension from occurring.