Ignorant women often speak about the conditions they live in and their unhappiness brought about by their characters which are far removed from the morality of the Qur’an. This tendency though, is also reflected in the men around them. After all, women regard this kind of behavior as appropriate to a housewife. In their opinion, spending the whole day making meals, cleaning the house saps their energy, and, for them, it is to be expected that they should complain. They believe that complaining is their right, and that those around ought to tolerate it. They believe that they, more than others, know the monotony of their marriage. Some men think that complaining is the only way their wives can vent their tensions, and so they accept their behavior to a certain point. But, it must be noted that these women knowingly chose this life themselves. Nevertheless, they never cease in their incessant complaining.
This habit of often complaining, as is found among housewives, and which they regard as their right, manifests itself at every minute of the day. They become so accustomed to complaining about everything, great or small, that they even complain to themselves when they are alone in the house. Such a woman tidies up the house grudgingly and, if a member of the family contributes to the mess, she assaults him with words of reproach. She will even complain to the first person who comes along, even a complete stranger.
This habit of complaining makes one argumentative. The most insignificant matter is magnified and a quarrel ensues; even for minor issues, the women become contrary and stubbornly insistent. They take every word the wrong way, and respond with an opposite assertion. These women live with a lot of anxiety because of their tense irritability. Their most common complaints are of headaches, stomach aches, and insomnia; and, ultimately, they begin to show early signs of aging.
All this is the result of the corrupt society in which they live. There is only one way out of this disturbed spiritual state brought on by their lack of faith and trust in Allah: To submit to the moral teachings of the Qur’an, and to live a life pleasing to Allah. Other than that, there are no other options.
Most often, ignorant women who display such a base form of behavior look for a solution by visiting some type of specialist or another, trying every new medication, therapy, or may even try to escape by ending their marriage. But, none of these remedies is a real resolution to the miserable lives they lead. As long as they do not live by the morality of the Qur’an and become devoted to our Lord with a sincere heart, there will be no change to their way of life, even though in actuality they would have had nothing to complain about, no one to grumble at or another house to live in.
However, compared to all the base forms of behavior typical of the majority of the women of the ignorant societies, the comportment of a woman of faith is reflective of a character that is positive in outlook and well-balanced. For example, she realizes that complaining is a bad habit. She does not forget that, even if things appear to be going badly, there is a reason for it in the Sight of Allah. So, no matter what comes her way, she sees no reason to be discontent or anxious. Even in her most difficult moments, she shows to those around her a tolerant, forgiving and compassionate character. And, even if she must criticize someone, in accordance with the dictates of her conscience, and by observing the Prophet’s (saas) warning, “Whoever is not merciful towards people, will not be treated mercifully by Allah.” (Ibn Ahmad Hanbal), she does so with language that is appropriate. Also, as the Qur’an commands, she knows that in this way outcome will be more positive. This is the behavior required of believers, as revealed in the Qur’an:
Make allowances for people, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant. (Surat al-A‘raf, 199)
Do you do not see how Allah makes a metaphor of a good word: A good tree whose roots are firm and whose branches are in heaven? (Surah Ibrahim, 24)
Say to My servants that they should only say the best. Satan wants to stir up trouble between them. Satan is an outright enemy to man. (Surat al-Isra’, 53)
