A very important sign of love 'not offending the one you love'

Everybody naturally loves a person with good moral quality, conscience, intelligence and a distinctive personality. Most of the time  a person deems himself to be the source of this love. However this state is more likely caused by "the immense power of the lovable traits of that person."

If the strength of love is caused by the depth of love of the lover, then there should be some signs proving it. One of the most important of these signs is “Not offending the one you love”. Unless a person has meticulousness and precision in this respect then  the power and sincerity of that person’s love becomes doubtful.

A person may be considered to experience genuine love if he deems the wishes of the one he loves above his own desires - for Allah’s good pleasure -; protects her from any kind of danger; bewares anything that is going to harm her; prefers to suffer instead of making her suffer; attaches priority to her health,ease, peace and comfort; avoids to say even a single word that may upset or displease her; gives priority to her needs above his own; takes sides with her even when they disagree; proves her right and himself wrong even if he’s right; is able to glorify the other person and degrade himself when he is faced with his pride and vanity; has a good opinion of him eventhough something occurs he is unable to understand; overcomes his doubts due to the love he feels for her; does not get hurt, angry or offended no matter what he comes up with; even in situations that seem contrary he rests assured of his morality; never doubts about her justice, love, compassion, conscience,  good morality, trustworthiness though it seems just the opposite; shows constancy - not changing day to day- in his love and respect to her.

Just saying “I love you very much” and not displaying this deep morality required by that kind of love decreases the credibility of that person's love.

That is because, one of the most important attributes of real love is “not offending the one a person loves”. And only faith can render the kind of love described here possible. An unbeliever can never be so self-sacrificing in his love . This can only be when one loves another as a “manifestation of Allah.”

“Loving as a manifestation of Allah” means; “to love and prefer the other because one sees the examples and manifestations of Allah’s supreme morality in that person”. The more a person possesses these traits of moral perfection, the more he is loved.    

If a person prefers the other not because of the pleasure of Allah and as a manifestation of Him but because this is what his lower-self desires, this is, in any case, not love in its real sense. In this state it is not possible for the requisites of love to come into existence. In such an understanding of love, it is not possible to talk about the concepts of one-sided  affection, self sacrifice, tolerance, understanding, forgiveness or trust. A person can never trust a person who has no fear of Allah. One can never  be sure about  what he has in his mind, what kind of decisions he takes, what he feels, and his honesty. For this reason, both parties who know this truth can never feel such love towards each other and can never show the morality required by this love.

Genuine love is a blessing Allah bestows on only sincere believers. In order for those who acknowledge this feeling in their souls and have a good comprehension of this understanding to experience this blessing in the most beautiful form, it is vital to embrace this morality of “not offending the one a person loves”. This point of view is a very important means that will nourish, reinforce and deepen love.